A strong and pervasive head. However evident. The reason for this ‘head’, stems from the exercise: “Four forms of discrimination” from the Can? Do! Project work week in Brighton and Hove. A self-examination and self- confrontation that has made it necessary me to get up. I am aware of its vulnerability. But is this really? In any case, looking away or run away makes no sense (anymore).
A self-study which can be an interesting challenge for a ‘coaching change strategy’. And that is profit!
I am a single parent with three children in the age group of 23 to 40 years. From my consciousness as a single parent and educator, I have five pillars education – plus clauses. This education pillars are motivated to keep out a climate of negativity in my family:
1) You are a beautiful person; love for yourself is paramount.
2) You always have the right to speak; provided you also give the space and let the other in his / her value.
3) Get the best out of yourself and make a difference; do more than your best, more than the other! Above all, take responsibility for your own actions.
4) Your personal development is important; Listen to yourself, and then you usually know what you want and can and what you must do to live your passion.
5) “Your diploma is your best friend!” it paves the way for you to economic independence. (The mantra of my Surinamese education.)
This emphasis on school performance, not just come out of thin air. History (read: Slavery) teaches that our Surinamese parents of responsibility for the past (still) the visual field have focused on educational performance of their child (ran). Because that will acquire ‘status’ and emotional independence.
Raising children is a huge challenge and responsibility. Understatement! It revolves essentially around the influencing and shaping of your child (ran). Central to this is the guide and support his or her development into an independent participating member of society – an important base in education. I am therefore been constantly seeking balance includes: direct control and freely grow at between personal responsibility and make them simultaneously resistant to whom or whatever, and, between the occurrence of pedestrian behaviour and fun crowd friends. A desire balance that contributes to finally live their talent and passion.
Stigmatization and exclusion was / is not an issue because of the colour of our skin. My mantra: ‘in every human red blood flowing inward – look you covered with another colour; How nice is that! Stigmatization and exclusion was / is not an issue because of the colour of our skin. My mantra: ‘in every human red blood flowing inward – look you covered with another colour; How nice is that!
When then came anyway stigma and exclusion raised, then this concerned (mostly) the other (s). Mainly peers who knew discriminated themselves too quickly or who found them a little too often criticized or denied too quickly, and / or was not awarded because of their skin colour. A personal experience with discrimination was (- and still is) my kids ‘skilfully’ parried. They stand above it. As mother taught them. Such an attitude implies arrogance. I realize now … writing this example; I asked my daughter how this education strategy has hindered her in expressing her emotions in an experience of discrimination. They indicated that this attitude has helped her to channel her emotions precisely at those times. Because at home they indeed took discuss this space and its emotions run free and then regroup its focus.
I am proud of my children! For who they are, their life’s their struggles, their dreams and their aspirations to achieve this. Nevertheless, I now know, with the development of this task that in my upbringing method still is home to a form of discrimination. A kind of (0f) conscious prejudices that I have given strategic in secret to my children. What I know now is that I imperceptibly control my children to place themselves above the other, by ‘ making the difference is better than the other. “With the best intentions indeed. Yet.. A kind of exclusion of the other. (So)”
Like any parent, I want the best for my children. I stop in the education or even possible that I have in me to make a beautiful and happy people of my children – not (yet) compared to the other. At least, that I experience now with this self-examination. Mindful awareness! Because inadvertently, I have used in my parenting strategy exclusion of other ‘ as a measure. (Hidden discrimination … ) . At the same time, in the consciousness of mind now, this education strategy (possibly) a breeding ground for creating uncertainty for your child (ren). Unintentionally. That gives me to think; that puts it’s faith in his own talent (s) ‘ an empty shell.
An eye-opener and a wake- up call.
It led me to at least start the conversation with my daughter. I did not run, away. Through this self-knowledge, I am (more) aware of how complex human mechanism works. Anyway. Discrimination is UNDESIRABLE! The conversation with my daughter was substantive and constructive. Together we have shifted our focus to: cooperate. Because you have the ‘other’ necessary to get the best out of yourself. The ‘other’ contributes to the formation of your personality and discover your talent (s) and also to take on difficult challenges.
This, as a ‘we- focus (interdependence) can counteract hidden discrimination. And not least, keep talking to myself and enter into dialogue …
In my coaching strategy, I focuses on human capital and the world model of the customer. As a coach I possess include the following core values and competencies: committed, curious, sensitive, creative, motivating, fast switching. Undoubtedly, I know for sure I uses the same education strategy in my coaching strategy.
(Hidden) discrimination is underexposed. Through this self-examination, I ‘m pulling triggered by the acquired consciousness to my coaching strategy. For this it goes hand in hand with spontaneous, social, meaning -giving interaction processes not controlled by outside views , but from inside.
So, in my coaching practice, I will still be me more aware of my ‘influence’ on the customer. Consciousness IS the real change. It gives me create space conditions that support (can) to come on stream the change strategy. If these conditions are present, the chances are that many new voice and coaching dynamics are underway and strengthen those facts. Thus, the probability of shifting mind and mindfulness increases.
A moment of self-reflection after the call, zooming in on hidden discrimination, good breakthrough may have to change in my coaching strategy. From the ‘inside’.